Dear ED: I’ve been dating a 38-year-old man for about five years, and our relationship until recently has been all that I could ask for. However, in the past couple of months, he has been having a lot of trouble getting an erection and keeping it. Sometimes, he’s fortunate enough to be able to get hard enough for penetration, but he goes soft before sex is over. He seems as much in love with me as he ever has, so I don’t think he’s losing his desire for me, but he definitely is experiencing symptoms of erectile dysfunction. What can I do to stimulate him and help him through this rough spot?
Carol W., St. Paul, MN
Answer: Patience and understanding won’t stimulate him, but it will signal to him that you’ve got his back and will wait for him to resolve this problem. You can also support him and his attempts to regain erectile function by encouraging him to live as healthy a life as possible. Eating a healthy diet, exercising regularly, stopping smoking, and losing excess weight will all help him to support healthy erectile function. If those don’t get him back in the game, he probably will need to take Viagra or another ED drug to give him the extra boost he needs. As to stimulation, it can come in both mental and physical form. Expressions of love and desire will ensure him that you care and will put him in the right frame of mind, while oral sex and physical stimulation of his penis, testicles, and other erogenous zones can help to increase blood flow to his pelvic region and pave the way for erection.